There are many people who have seen what appears to be a grieving process in their pet when a loved one, human or animal, dies or otherwise leaves the home.
I personally have seen this in both my dogs and cats from time to time. There are no set rules about how a pet will grieve, but the owner or caretaker will see a change in the pet’s behavior.
Some signs are:
Panting, pacing, whining, fidgeting, weight loss due to a loss of appetite, becoming clingy when the pet was not that way before, wanting to touch another pet or person more than normal and a general sad behavior. I have had pets look for the lost companion, and generally mope around the house.
I have had more than one dog bond with another dog only to have to re-home the dog or the dog dies. Some people let the pet that is alive see the dead pet. They claim this helps. In my case I have often replaced the pet that passed.
The most dramatic incident that I have witnessed was something that I still cannot explain. Our Rottweiler Dempsey, had hip dysplasia and seemed to be in quite a bit of pain. I called our veterinarian and arranged to pick her up on my lunch hour to take her for x-rays. When I took her out of the front door, our Border Collie, Ness, did something he never did before or after that incident. When I closed the front door, he threw himself at the door and screamed in a way I had never heard a dog do. I was puzzled since I had taken the Rottie to the groomers on a number of occasions in the same manner, picking her up on my lunch break and taking her for a bath, especially the time she got skunked. So the Border Collie had experienced this before.
Unbeknownst to me, she had very bad bone cancer and upon examining the X-ray, the veterinarian called me at work to tell me what he found. Her thigh bone was completely perforated, and the cancer had spread, so we decided she needed to be put to sleep. How did the Border Collie know? He was not the same after losing his buddy.
About a year later, we picked up another puppy that a friend had brought for me from France. We had the Border Collie with us at the airport when we went to pick up the new puppy. As my husband carried the puppy to the car, the Border Collie gave him a look that would have killed. It was as if the Border was saying, “How could you bring another dog here.” The story had a happy ending because it did not take long for Ness to accept the puppy and they became fast friends.
What makes it difficult is that we cannot explain to the pet what has happened and why. We have to let them work out their grief in their own way and in their own time.
What we can do to help our pets when they grieve is to be there for them. Try not to change their routine. Let them cuddle if that is what they need. Give the pet extra play and exercise if possible. And in some cases a new companion may be the answer.
It is important to understand that all animals have feelings similar to ours. They understand that someone is missing. In cases where there is a sudden death of a person, the pet may not realize that they are gone right away. This is true if the person spent days away from home due to work or regular vacations. In time the pet will realize that the person is not coming back. That means the caretaker(s) of the pet, or the family left behind must keep an eye on the pet to watch for signs of grief which may not show up right away.
If the family is grieving the pet will react to that and it may be difficult to tell if the pet is grieving or reacting to the emotions of the people around him which can make his own grieving stronger.
There is no easy answer or solution to the problem of pet grief. Although it is a common phrase that is true, time will help, time will heal.
4 thoughts on “Do animals grieve the loss of a loved one?”
Another “Terrific” post. I always suspected that there is a process that pets go through when someone dies, but not sure.
We always treated our pets as part of our family & clearly saw that they considered themselves as being part of our family.
Hi Dave, I have seen different animals, cats, dogs and birds all grieve in their own way. It is so sad not to be able to explain things to them.
Susan, So many wonderful posts! Thank you for sharing all of your wide range of knowledge and expertise!
Your story about your beautiful Rottie is so sad. That must have been such a shock when you got the diagnosis. I am very sorry.
Living with Border Collies for so many years, I can easily believe that he knew what was happening.
We had a hospice Vet come when it was time for our 17 year old kitty to leave us from intestinal cancer. When she was sedated, I sat on the sofa cradling her. Our Silken Windhound, who had never before tried to come up onto furniture, climbed up in my lap to snuggle with her dear friend until she was gone. I know that there is so much non-verbal communication going on all the time between our pets, and between them and us. It is a wonderful blessed world!
Dear Meg, Yes, there is so much we do not know. I am sorry for your loss as well. I lost my Rottie, Dempsey many years ago, but it is still fresh in my mind. She was an amazing dog. Thanks for sharing your story with me.